This is how sad my life is. I've spent the last 6 years trying to figure out how I could possibly get broadband speed internet. We've tried DSL, Cable, Sattelite, and even fringe special types of fast internet, but all of them were either too expensive or not accesible. It's just not possible to get fast internet at my house, and it sucks.
Today, when I logged onto Google I noticed something called TiSP (note, that link will only work for one day), which is basically in-home broadband internet. I'm no fool, so I knew this was a prank (just check out the date) but I was intrigued by their joke, so I read about it. Apparently they "developed" a system whereas you flush a fiberoptic cable down your toilet and it is eventually caught by technicians and plugged into a server. You are then plugged into the world of fast internet.
It's actually a pretty novel idea, but as you can probably guess, a little unfeasible. For a bit I was quite depressed. If this was possible then I'd be able to get broadband! Then I thought about it for a little and realized that I was doomed to slow internet forever. I have a septic field, meaning that my toilet flushes straight into my field, meaning I CAN'T EVEN GET FAKE BROADBAND SPEED INTERNET! I hate life.